HOW TO GIVE SOMEONE A SENSUAL, SEXY MASSAGE – THE BASICS

Once upon a time, in another life, I was a massage therapist. While I’m not any more, I still love to give someone a massage.

All the better is that person is naked at the time, and I have a selection of sensory toys close at hand, like this little guy:

photo of a pinwheel sensory toy

My experience is not so much that you need to remember specific moves, but more importantly, they need to hear – repeatedly – the attitudes that they need to express.

A good massage is 10% the skills and techniques you use and 90% the attitude you bring to it.

At festivals over the last few years, I have run workshops on sensual massage for couples. I’ve also provided one-on-two private lessons for couples on a small number of occasions.

Here are the main points that I try my hardest to get across…

1 – PAY. ATTENTION.

I repeat this constantly throughout my workshops. It is the single most significant factor in whether someone will feel like they are getting a good massage or not. It doesn’t matter if you are massaging fingertips or clitoris. PAY. FUCKING. ATTENTION.

I will usually say something like: Imagine the person who is massaging you is thinking about a conversation that they had with someone three hours ago. Or, thinking about what they are going to cook for dinner tonight, and whether they need to buy more ingredients. What are their hands going to feel like on your body? Do you think you are you going to get a satisfying massage?

Now, imagine that they are thinking purely about wanting you to feel really, really, really good. That’s all. Your enjoyment is their only focus, the only thing in their heart at this moment, the only thing that is coming through their fingers and hands. What are the chances that you’re getting a good massage? PAY. FUCKING. ATTENTION.

Paying attention encompasses and extends to how you set up the space for the massage. I’m not going to spend time here giving you step-by-step instructions on how to set up or rub someone’s bits. If you are paying attention to the details, then you will figure all of this out for yourself and probably do a much better job than if I tried to tell you how, given that you know more about what you have available to work with than I do.

Details. Small things. Candles, flower petals, music, these are all details. The more thought, feeling, and time you put into building the experience, the more your partner will feel valued and honoured. So, get into the details.

Paying attention also means actually caring about how your partner feels as they receive the massage. Which segways nicely to the next point:

2 – Communicate.

Ask the person you are about to massage whether they tend to like a more gentle pressure or a more firm pressure, or somewhere in between.

Make your queries specific and comparative: If you say to the person, “how does it feel?” then what are they going to say….? –

[bored voice] “yeeeeesss…”

Of course they will say yes. You’ve asked what is called a “non-winning question.” A non-winning question is one that has a stock-standard answer that we barely even think about before we answer: like, ‘How are you today?” / [bored voice] “gooooodd…..”

So, ask a winning question. A winning question is where everybody wins: you win and also your partner wins; you both get what you want.

A winning question asks for specific information. the best way to get specific information is to ask a question that offers a choice.

So, make the offer: “do you want a more gentle pressure, more firm, or is that good for you?” BOOOM, you get good information that will directly inform what you will do next, you know that your partner actually wants this and will likely enjoy it, and everybody wins.

Other examples of winning questions:

  • “Do you like it more when I do this, [do the thing] or when I do this? [do the other thing]”
  • “What’s been your favourite thing so far?” [remember this and do it again later]

If your partner is clearly not enjoying what you are doing, stop. Check in. “Is there something I can do differently?” is a great question to ask.

If your partner is really struggling – and it may be nothing to do with you – offer to take a break. Ask them what’s going on with them and adjust course as-needed.

The simple traffic-light system works well here. Since it only uses single-word cues, it’s easy to speak up and be honest.

If your partner says “Red” everything stops, lights (and clothes) go on, and nothing more happens until everybody feels 100% absolutely safe. You may need to reschedule your sexy massage to another day (or week, or month, or never).

“Yellow / Orange” means pause, something isn’t quite right. Check in, see what needs to change. Adapt as-needed and only continue if the issue is resolved.

“Green” means keep going, I’m loving this!

3 – KEEP communicating!

At least the first one-quarter of the massage will involve checking in and asking your winning questions several times in order to “calibrate” your pressure to the recipient’s liking. 

NB: do NOT ask “how’s the pressure?” Because what are they going to say?

[bored voice] “Goooooood…”

What kind of question will you ask? That’s right, a winning question! Offer that choice. For example, “would you like a little more pressure, a little less, or is that good?”

After some time – so long as you are paying attention – you will begin to get a feel for what kind of pressure your partner likes and enjoys, as well as the moves they like. Then, less vocal communication is needed. BUT…..

4 – KEEP paying attention!

When you begin to communicate less verbally, you start to communicate more non-verbally.

Look out for physical responses: flinches, breathing faster or slower, deep sighs or sharp breaths, shoulders visibly going down or up, face muscles tensing or their expression changing, their back arching or slouching, whether they are relaxing into your hands of slightly moving away from them…   these can all mean different things.

Things like goosebumps can also tell you whether they might be feeling cold. If you see goosebumps and you’re not sure, ask. You may need to turn up the heating, and it’s hard to relax into feeling sexy when you’re freezing your tits off.

In so many ways, this type of communication will give you much more useful information than anything they say out loud. When we communicate with our bodies and faces, more emotion and honesty comes through.

People will often say things to make you feel better but aren’t actually true – especially if they love you and don’t want to upset you. If you ask your recipient, “how does that feel?” and they reply, “_GOOD_” through clenched teeth, with their back arched, flinching away from you, are you likely to believe them…? 

Once again….  !–PAY–ATTENTION–! If you are already paying attention, then responding to your partner’s non-verbal signals will largely be instinctive for you.

Verbal communication is essential at the start, but your goal is to get into a completely trusting, non-verbal, emotional state.

Even if it’s not instinctive, you can learn. The way to learn? …You guessed it: Pay attention. That’s it. You will figure out the rest as you go. If you’re not figuring it out, then you’re not really paying attention. 😉 So, try again. You will get there.

orgasm face

5 – SLOW. DOWN.

Most beginners are nervous and go way too fast. This is normal and 95% of newbies do it. I’m not even talking about rushing towards the genitals here, though that’s also an element. I’m just talking about the massaging itself.

Try your best to think like this: whatever you’re doing, slow it down by half. Honestly, the slower you go, the more relaxing it will feel.Also, repeat this mantra: “The deeper you go, the slower you go.” There is a linear correlation between massage depth and massage speed.

“The deeper you go, the slower you go.”

And while we’re on the topic of genitals… Again, don’t rush! Tease your partner. Make them want you to touch them in their most sensitive places, and make them enjoy wanting you to do it.

As a guideline, take at least fifteen minutes at minimum before your go between their legs. And when you do… go sloooooooowly.

If you like, you can draw out the experience and delay the more direct stimulation by using some impact or sensory toys: floggers, crops, pinwheels, fluffy or feathery things, or even just your fingernails if you don’t have any of those things. Again – this is included in the detail aspect of paying attention. 😉

For some of you, a sexy massage may just be the entrée before the main course of more intense BDSM play. For others it may be the prelude to bedroom fun. In any case, I encourage you to take… your… time.

6 – Structure your massage in three stages.

Stage 1: Gentle, broad, warm up. Open hands, gentle movements, broad surfaces of all fingers and heel of hand, forearms, palms, etc.Stage 2: Specific and detailed. Get granular. Feel into the tissues and use smaller contact surfaces like fingers and thumbs. Stage 3: Gentle, broad, warm down. Open hands, etc.

Imagine it like having a conversation with someone you’ve just met. You introduce yourself with small talk. Then you get into the nitty-gritty of the conversation. Then you finish with pleasantries and bid your farewells. It’s what we call politeness. Be polite. 

1, 2, 3 – Broad, specific, broad. That’s your structure.

7 – Body mechanics.

This is more important than skills or techniques. You can’t keep up skills or techniques if you physically fatigue before you can use them properly. look after your body!

It makes no sense to make someone else feel better by messing up your self. 

(a) Stack your joints. Make straight lines between your fingers/thumbs, wrist, elbow, and/or shoulder as much as possible. Play around with this to find the most energy-efficient stacks for each technique you use.

(b) Use body weight/gravity. “Gravity is your bestest, bestest friend.” (Repeat this throughout the session.) By using gravity you are literally feeding the energy of Mother Earth herself through your body and into the person receiving your massage.

(c) Vary your contact surfaces. If you use your thumbs the whole time for ten straight minutes, what’s going to happen?? Learn to use your fingers, learn to brace your fingers and thumbs with other body parts, learn to use the heels of your hands, the edges of your hands, your knuckles, your fists, your elbows and forearms. If one body part is getting sore or tired, switch to a different part.

Don’t sacrifice yourself. Nobody likes a broken hero!

8 – THEN practice your skills.

Only after you master these first steps will be able to turn your focus towards learning specific skills and techniques, including the transition from body massage to yoni or lingham (genital) massage.

As a beginner, do not concern yourself with getting the techniques “right”, at all. Like, just don’t. It’s not anywhere near as important as (1) Paying Attention, and (2) Communicating to Win.

Honestly, if you can get these first attention+communication steps right, it doesn’t even matter what techniques you use, because your recipient’s eyes will already be rolling back in their heads and they will already be drooling and making all sorts of weird animal noises…!

  • Pay Attention
  • Communicate
  • Slow Down
  • Broad → Specific → Broad
  • Body Mechanics
  • PAY. ATTENTION.

Did I mention to pay attention? You should pay attention. 
Also: PAY. FUCKING. ATT. ENTION.

That’s it, I think. Oh wait! Also, have fun!!

Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever written these down before. I think I’m going to print this and hand it out next time I do a workshop!

Hope this helps. Good luck and, more importantly, have fun!!

A TESTIMONIAL FROM ANNIE M.

Annie was a gem. She booked me for a four-hour Sensory Awakening Experience which involves a massage table, a boat-load of coconut oil, and a lucky-dip bag of fun toys and sensory tools to play with.

This is a scene I’m continuing to develop. It’s also something I go into without any set plan – I just set it up, see what kinds of signals I get from my client, and respond whichever way feels right at the time.

As always when playing with bindings, blindfolds, or any kind of impact play (spanking, flogging and such), full enthusiastic consent and constant checking in is standard practise.

It also involves scent, sound, and in future I’ve decided that I’ll bring in some taste elements. My dream is to set up a 7.1 Surround Sound hi-fi system, with the subwoofer placed underneath the massage table, so that it’s really immersive.

With Annie, I picked a little way into the booking up that I had been a little too cautious in the beginning when I walked into the room. Annie has seen several male escorts before and isn’t the kind of woman who sees any benefit to wasting time, so I could certainly have been more direct from the get-go!

As it is, I tend to have a more ‘get-to-know-you’ default for the first booking with a new client whom I haven’t seen before. Most of the time this is a good policy, but I definitely get the impression it wasn’t necessary with Annie! The good thing is, I’ll know what to do next time she books me. 😉

Here’s what Annie said about me:

Harley is a true gentleman. He is a sensitive guy who reads your mood and confidently responds to your every need. Great conversationalist and easy to get on with. I had the pleasure of experiencing the Sensory awakening package which resulted in multiple climaxes. I thoroughly recommend this to slowly enjoy the experience. Thanks Annie

~ Annie, Melbourne
Melbourne Male Escort bondage kink BDSM

LIFE IN LOCKDOWN

What my life has been like in the Covid-19 isolation period.

I started the year by coming back to Melbourne after two years away, hitting the Tullamarine tarmac on February 19th. I was excited, I was ready, I had a plan for 2020 and it was largely about finding a foundational routine and Getting Shit Done.

I spent three months in Bali just before I came back, staying at a friend’s house and getting some dental work done (two implants, a root canal with crown, and a major filling. $3k!) During that period I also laid the foundations for a new online retail business.

I also applied to study towards a Bachelor of Health Science. I had a flat lined up, and there was a triple birthday party to go to where I’d catch up with all my friends.

Finally, I had also built up a reasonable following of sex work clients in Melbourne and I knew that a few were eagerly awaiting my return.

So I hit the ground in Melbourne with a plan. A clear pathway forward. The first week back I saw a client couple for some fun, but that’s the only booking I’ve had this year.

Two weeks after getting back the triple birthday took place. It was completely brilliant, about a hundred people came, I got loads of hugs from my friends and even met some awesome new people whom I looked forward to seeing more of. Covid was becoming a more serious issue at that time (first week of March) and we were all talking about how this ‘might be the last big party for a while…’ but we still seemed positive that it wouldn’t get crazy.

A week later we were in lockdown.

Disruption and Disillusionment

Everybody has been affected somehow. A lot of people to whom I’ve spoken have told me that, if anything, they are working more now than they did before, because they can use up the time they would normally use to commute for work.

Others have been laid off, and while government benefits have given them more time to bake sourdough and learn to make fresh pasta, they are very uncertain about when they’ll be able to work again.

As for me, staying motivated in study has been challenging. I’ve also gained an ADHD diagnosis (finally) and gone on medication, which is working really well but is still a lot to process during an already stressful time.

The new business venture I started in Bali is on hold. Depending on how the rest of 2020 pans out, I may be able to re-start it early next year.

As for sex work… Man, I was really looking forward to developing my style and presence this year. I felt confident. I still do, but now I’m feeling frustrated – like, I know what I want to do, but I’m feeling held back.

The Victorian Government & DHHS are not helping. They started out by banning all forms of sex work even while other business types such as gyms and saunas are being given permission to recommence. Recently they updated the DHHS website with confusing information that suggested (probably wrongly) that outcall escort work may resume. Vixen Collective is seeking clarification as I type.

Where to from here

As soon as we are given the go-ahead, I’ll be taking bookings pretty much immediately. We’re into exam period at the moment and during July I’ll have four weeks of holiday from uni. This means I can dedicate my focus and attention to my clients – assuming we are good to go by next month!

I’m really excited to get back to serving my wonderful clients. Being in Christchurch for the last couple of years was surprisingly fruitful for me in terms of sex work. So, I’m hopeful that Melbourne will be even more forthcoming!

It’s going to take time to build up my reputation into something solid, but I’m in this for the long-haul. I’m here in Melbourne for the foreseeable future, so I’m committed to the task.

I’m in the blocks. I’ve been training for this for years. All I need is for the authorities to pull the trigger on the starting gun and I’m away.

See you all very soon, in various states of undress!

time for a sauna - at least that's legal at the moment
Time for a sauna. At least THAT’S legal at the moment…

A testimonial from C.Z.

My second 48-hour booking was a truly wonderful weekend driving down the Great Ocean Road to a farm cottage in the Otways.

It was my client’s 40th birthday and she wanted to treat herself to some care, attention, and pampering.

Dear Harley
Thank you for a fantastic weekend in the Otways. 
It was every bit the warm, cosy, fireplace getaway that I had imagined. Your reliability & willingness to help with things like driving, cooking and decision-making made me very happy. 
As you know my job often involves holding a lot of space for people who can’t. So to allow myself to be held, and cared-for, and even to try new things, was a refreshing change in routine.
I knew it was somewhat of a risk for us to spend 48 hours together without having met before. But you brought so much calmness, attentiveness and professionalism to the table. I never felt unsafe, and I was never left wondering if I had made a poor decision.
Thank you for reminding me what it is like to feel deserving of unconditional kindness. 
Consider heartfuel refilled. I am now ready to get back to doing what I do best: adding love to the world.
x C

Two duck egg omelettes, coming up!

All this not-having-sex is making me horny

Stay home if you can. Wash your hands. Be kind.

I get it. This is important. People could die if I get complacent and lazy about hygiene and direct contact with people outside of my immediate circles.

Add to that the fact that here in Victoria, the DHHS has still explicitly prohibited sexual services of any kind.

But my god. Yesterday I ejaculated four times within about 6 hours, and played with myself several times more. It was compulsive, some kind of reptile-brained behaviour response. My diet, exercise and sleep patterns have finally evened-out during this lockdown period, and as a result I can feel my testosterone climbing back up again. My libido is clearly back, and with some serious oomph behind it.

But dammit, the only outlet I have for now is… well, me.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy giving myself pleasure. But the warmth and life force of another body (or bodies) against mine, and the interactive play that comes with sex, are completely different experiences. And I miss them, deeply.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the next person to get with me is going to need to bring their A-game. This time I’m going to ditch the usual teasing and tension-building. Do some warm up stretches, honey – especially spreading your legs nice and wide. Get some cardio in during this break time, because you’re going to fucking need it.

I miss you. I’m thinking about you. I hope I can be with you soon.

Mwah. :-*

Male escort for women and couples

PS, for the moment you can follow me and my horny antics on Twitter, if you’re not already!

A Testimonial from Chloe B

Just, ya know, casually hangin out doing the ironing. With a drink for some reason.

This review comes from my too-brief trip to Auckland in June 2019.

It is honestly an absolute delight to give a woman a sensual massage. It allows us to take our time, build trust, get used to each other more, and it feels like I am really providing something indulgent in my service.

It also indulges me, since I get to adore you and run my hands all over your body. Everyone wins!

Here’s what Chloe had to say:

Harley is a man I have had my eye on for a while. His professional website enchanted me; here was someone who cared about his work and willing to put the effort in to prove it. I analysed all of it, read through his testimonials, his blog, and found him to be both professional and personal. Someone who would listen and respond; who would go above and beyond to provide a magical experience. 

And he did exactly that. 

I booked Harley for an overnight when he announced a tour to Auckland. I debated the dinner and Dessert option, though after paying attention to his twitter feed, I knew we’d have more than enough conversation and connection for the entire night. I also wanted to maximise my massage time. 

I planned a beautiful evening and his presence exceeded all expectations. Wanting this to be extra special, I booked a room at the Stamford Plaza and made a reservation at a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try for a while. He came up to my room, fresh from the gym, and I was surprised at how handsome he was. Sure, photos are one thing, but to see the whole man in person was breathtaking. 

We got ready for dinner together, and I took too much delight in watching him iron his shirt. Heading out to the city, I felt amazing next to this handsome gentleman drawing views from all corners. Dinner was lovely, sharing stories about all sorts of life adventures. Conversation flowed so easily, more so than I expected. 

We headed back to the hotel room for the highlight of the evening: the massage. Harley has some serious skills and it was a luxury to be pampered with a proper massage. I have no idea how long it lasted, but I was soon sleepy and we went to bed having a warm cuddle. 

The following morning was full of bliss, delight, and satisfaction. Harley is an attentive and passionate lover. 

Overall, Harley is a wonderful professional and it is absolutely worth spending a night or two with him.

A Testimonial from Kit B

Melbourne Male Escort bondage kink BDSM
Light bondage optional

Several sex worker colleagues have booked me for my services as a male escort, which I have both been really honoured by, and thoroughly enjoyed. Sex workers are necessarily excellent communicators, and don’t shy away from saying exactly what they want & don’t want. This makes it extremely easy to provide my services for them in a way that I know they will enjoy. It makes me feel confident going into the booking because I know what I’m doing.

It also allows me to improvise and build off their requests because I know where the boundaries are. I can add novelty and a few surprising twists, knowing that I am still respecting their wishes & boundaries.

I try to encourage all of my clients to be clear with their boundaries & communication for these reasons.

Kit, in particular, was exemplary with her pre-booking comms. It was an absolute joy to discuss with her what she was looking for in her experience, and if I felt a little nervous as I arrived and set up, it was only because I am an admirer Kit’s online presence – she is articulate, very well-read, highly intelligent & fiercely dedicated.

It’s worth adding that even if you are not so confident or practised in communicating your needs & wants, I am getting better all the time at judging what they are when I meet you and adapting as we go; and, if I am feeling unsure, I will ask you some simple questions, always without judgement, to find out if I am on the right track. As always, you are in total control of what happens and doesn’t happen, at all times.

Here’s what Kit said about my service:

I booked Harley for a 4 hour session in 2018. Harley was very thoughtful throughout the booking process, he asked a lot of questions to make sure he understood what I wanted (I came to him with a specific fantasy) and made me feel very comfortable.

In the booking this same feeling of comfort continued. It can be scary to ask a total stranger to come to your place and have sex, but throughout the entire booking Harley made me feel safe, secure and desired. Harley is not only totally gorgeous but really fun to chat with.

The whole evening was so much fun. I am also a sex worker and really wanted a sexual experience that was indulgent and focused on me. Harley did this perfectly. It felt like the best gift I could possibly give myself.

by Kit Bauer @foodsexwater

https://twitter.com/foodsexwater (currently on hiatus)

The Importance (or not) of orgasms

orgasm face

Last week I posted a poll to Twitter and asked about how important it is for women to have an orgasm during sex:

Nearly a thousand owners of vulvae voted, and a discussion thread thirty replies long ensued. After a while, a few common themes emerged.

Generally, orgasms are not absolutely essential but are definitely preferable; more important seems to be enjoyable sex, and/or the personal connection.

On the essential side, one commenter said, “If you get yours and I don’t get mine I’m gonna be pissed.” Another said, “tbh if after 3-5 fucks I still haven’t cum once, I’m probably moving on.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ” Equality, it seems, is just as important with orgasms as with anything else!

Specifically, I took away three main points:

First – “It depends.”

Sometimes you want to cum hard and often. Other times you don’t want to cum at all, and it might even be preferable to be held on the edge of orgasm for as long as possible. ‘Edging’ is a thing, after all.

For some, it depends on whom they are with. For many sex workers it was not important at all to orgasm with clients, though some will fake it to please their clients. At the same time it tended to be somewhat more important when those same sex workers were with personal-life lovers.

For still others, orgasms are so intense that they can be tiring, and thus cumming to often means having to stop the fun.

Second – Go to the source.

Women & vulva-owners are much better at making themselves orgasm than their lovers. This is probably a simple result of you knowing your body and how it feels better than anyone else. It reinforces the idea that if you want to know how to please someone, ask them how.

There is a lot of variety in experience and opinion out there, though, as you might expect. Other women talked about orgasms being essential, and in some case if they don’t cum they experience pain akin to what men and penis-owners call “blue-balls.”

Third – Orgasm does not always equal pleasure

One person sent me a direct message with a linked article that described how sometimes arousal and orgasm are purely physical, reflex responses, even when a woman is not emotionally or mentally enjoying the encounter. In fact, in some cases of sexual assault & rape, the woman experienced an orgasm, which can be intensely confusing. It goes without saying, though, that this in no way legitimises the assault, and a conscious “no” must always be respected.

Several people commented that an orgasm is not the finish of sex and should not necessarily mark the close of sexual intimacy. For men especially it sounds like there is a semi-cultural expectation that when the penis-owner is finished with their climax, it’s all over. We were reminded that intimacy is not contingent on an erect penis being in-play, and that stimulation of the other partner(s) can still continue. Plus there can still be other acts of a sexual or intimate nature to share, such as massages, cuddling and stroking, or even just talking about the sex you just had to keep the mood elevated.

Further notes on ‘Le Petit Mort’

I’d like to take a minute here to point you, dear reader, to the amazing website “Beautiful Agony.” Users just like you record themselves self-pleasuring and upload the videos – showing only their faces – for your viewing. If you want to know what it looks like when someone cums, this will provide your answers.

Third – Orgasms are awesome, and pretty much everyone agrees. But more important to vulva-owners is the connection between them and their funtime partners.

https://twitter.com/foodsexwater/status/1145488646998380544

My orgasm takeaway

A word cloud including the most common words used in replying to my tweets about oral sex.

So what did I learn about orgasm from this discussion? Probably the most important lesson, while obvious, arguably doesn’t happen enough.

Communicate. There is so much variety not just to anatomy, but more importantly to preference, desire, and need. A frank chat about what works for one person will go differently to a similar chat with someone else. Even if it’s someone you know, asking them “how do you feel today?” might open a brief exchange about what that person needs to orgasm in that moment – or even if they want to orgasm at all.

Thus informed, there is a much, much greater chance that everyone will be all happy & orgasmic.

A Testimonial from Miss P

RUB MAH BELLEH X-D

My very first paid booking as a sex worker for women was a two hour erotic massage with happy ending(s) plus oral. The lady was deeply happy with the session, as it indulged one of her fantasies of a massage turning sexy, and she tipped me a little extra. A great start!

My second booking was a 48-hour weekend in Akaroa… quite a leap up from two hours! Miss P flew over from Melbourne and we booked an AirBnB, hired a car, went on a penguin sightseeing tour in kayaks, I cooked several meals including salmon fished from the harbour we overlooked, gave her massages, and shared an outdoor bath with her. It was an amazing way to spend a weekend and I’m grateful for her trust and company.

Miss P was kind enough to write a wonderful, detailed testimonial for me. Here’s what she said:

Coming across Harley’s website, I knew I found the escort for me even though he was based in a different city. Both his age and physical appearance appealed to me. I just turned 40, have been single for a while and was starved of male affection. Everything Harley mentioned just struck a chord with me – genuine human connection, intelligent conversations, sensual indulgence, nourishing company and physical affection. I also appreciated all the information he put in his website, especially regarding sexual health and emotional safety. Reading about his services, I wanted the whole experience and just 2 hours would not cut it. So, I decided to make a holiday of my trip to Christchurch and asked for a 2-day booking, happy to let him plan an itinerary to impress an out-of-towner in Christchurch for the first time. What followed was a proposed road trip to a small seaside town nearby making it a perfect romantic holiday destination.


What made the whole experience special from the beginning was that Harley makes the time to communicate – offering options, giving reassurances, managing expectations and articulating boundaries. The way he writes, with humour, openness and understanding, evidently shows him to be a gentleman with a deep respect for women. I’m somewhat of a reserved person but Harley made it easy for me to ask all the awkward/difficult questions. The email exchanges were important to me as I needed that intellectual and emotional connection before flying to meet him. By the time deposits were exchanged and plans finalised, he already felt like a friend that I was comfortable with, and I was happily counting down the days to our meeting.


When we finally met, I was quite taken with his youthful looks and dreamy eyes. With the engaging conversations across a wide range of topics, as well as his perpetual optimism, easy sense of humour and affectionate nature, Harley was an easy person to be with. There was no room for awkwardness and we got cosy pretty quickly. 


Over the two days, he was the perfect affectionate boyfriend in public and the consummate lover in private. We held hands and exchanged kisses while we wined and dined in quaint restaurants, explored shops and went on day excursions. I loved listening to him recounting the history of the region and learning more about him each day. In our private luxury cabin, I was lavished with affection while making out in the sun, embraced lovingly in the bath under starlit skies and massaged in ways that made me tingle all over. As for the intimacy, it was sensual, unhurried and sooo very nice. It’s not just the sex (which was deliciously orgasmic), it was also the languid and luxurious foreplay that he indulged me with. He was very intuitive and took the cues from my moods well, from slow and sensual to hard and passionate. I loved his mouth, his tongue, his fingers, his generous endowment and his endurance. Suffice to say, I lost count on how many times I came.


I had everything on his menu including the sensual awakening massage and the culinary experience, with complimentary morning coffees, shoulder rubs and big tender hugs. I have never felt so pampered and so cherished. The whole experience was out-of-this-world! Was it worth it? Definitely. True, I paid for the experience but the complete Harley Brixton experience left me feeling more rejuvenated, sexy and alive than any holiday to Europe could ever deliver.

Miss P, Melbourne

Happy ending massage for women

Erotic massage for women

Contrary to what too many direct messages on the internet may suggest, it is not all about the D.

Ever since I started escorting, I’ve set out to make it all about you. What you want to do, what you need, and also paying careful attention to what you don’t want. I’ve noticed that in about a quarter of all my bookings so far, clients have explicitly told me that they’re not interested in intercourse as a part of their booking.

What is clear, though, is that sensual touch and physical connection is still pretty much essential. Sensual massage is a very common request. What I’m noticing is that I’ll get a “Yes!” in response to the suggestion of a sexy massage more often than I will for a suggestion of intercourse. For many women, full-body, vulval, and/or clitoral stimulation is more sexually enticing than ‘PIV’ (penis-in-vagina) sex.

Having been a professional therapeutic masseur in another lifetime, I kinda rate my skillz. 🙂 And with a little pre-booking communication, some at-the-time discussion, plus close attention to what your body is telling me without words, I can start putting together a fairly decent idea of what will work for you, individually. This means not only can I get the blood moving towards your sexual organs (including the one between your ears), I can also work deep into your sore and tired muscles as well. I think this lends a sense of ‘completeness’ to this type of erotic massage.

The result: a new specific service

So, I’ve decided to explicitly offer sexy, ‘happy ending’ massage for women as a service that I provide.

You can be covered by a sheet or uncovered; you can stay face-down or we can cover every inch of your body; I can be clothed, in underwear (and I’m not talking about boring Bonds rags here – I have some pretty flash smalls), or naked. YOU get to choose… always.

The happy ending is also optional. Some folks prefer to be tantalisingly teased, and then to finish themselves off after I’ve gone.

What to expect

Make sure you’ve warmed up the room to a comfortable temperature before I arrive.

I’ll show up with a proper massage table, linens, and oils, and we can have a chat while I get set up. My preferred oil is coconut, but you are free to request something different. I try to avoid mineral oils such as baby oil and instead keep it to natural nut oils. Almond or grapeseed or good alternatives to coconut.

I will also bring an essential oil vaporiser with a selection of relaxing scents. Lavender is a popular choice, but not everyone likes it! It’s always good to have options.

Additionally I’ll have a bluetooth speaker with me if you don’t have your own audio setup, plus some music choices. Of course if you have your own playlist, we can put that on.

While we can use a bed instead of the table, I find it much easier to work with the table and can get better access to your whole body. But if you want to use a bed, we can certainly do so.

You don’t have to disrobe in front of me. If you like, I’ll turn my back while you get onto the massage table – whatever you need to feel most comfortable. If you’re particularly shy, we can turn the lights down as low as you want.

This service does not include oral. It does include hands and fingers, which I will usually tease you with until the final stages of your massage. I’ll also plant a few kisses on your body, too, but this service does not include full-on kissing. It’s more about your entire body being a whole sensory organ, rather than just one part of your body or face.

One of the best things about me coming to you is that you can roll right off the table into your bed or into a hot bath. Lush!

Finally, as an indulgent ending, I’ll leave you with your choice of either a bottle of chilled white wine, or a block of your favourite flavour of chocolate! The way I figure, you probably deserve it.

What if you end up wanting more…?

Great! Not a problem, if you do feel at any point like you just want me to ravage you passionately, you can simply add on the difference between this and my BFE full service. It’s totally up to you and you are free to ‘upgrade’ at any time.

Is this sounding good? Yes? Great! Get in touch with me by email and we can start talking about it!

hello@christchurchmaleescort.nz